Racism’s Effect on Interracial Romantic Relationships

In the United States, people of many diverse backgrounds develop different kinds of relationships. People of different races, ethnicities and cultures interact in a variety of ways within communities throughout the nation. Americans have become accustomed to attending school, working, shopping, attending religious services and many other daily activities with people who may not look like them. Romantic relationships are more likely to develop between people of different races and ethnicities the more people are integrated in society (Wu et al. 733). This makes logical sense, since someone is not likely to marry someone he or she has never had the opportunity to meet or interact with. As neighborhoods, schools and workplaces become more racially diverse, the opportunity and likelihood of interracial romantic relationships increase. Although society as a whole may seem more accepting of interracial relationships and marriage, resistance to them often stems from within families. According to an article in the Journal of Social Sciences about interracial relationships, even though interracial marriages have “nearly tripled” since 1980 to 8.4% of all marriages in the United States, negative influences towards these unions by friends, family and society is rampant (Lehmiller et al 116). Racism within families has an effect on intimate partner selection. There are perceived and actual social and familial pressures to only date and marry someone within their race. Family and friends may have many reasons to not be supportive and may try to deter interracial relationships to those close to them. The problem that many people see with interracial relationships within their own family is the fear that the children of the next generation with be “different” from them, whether culturally or most visibly with skin color (Perry 217). Family members should not discourage each other from developing romantic relationships with someone of a different race or ethnicity because doing so perpetuates multigenerational racism and can damage integral family bonds and relationships.  

Teenagers and young adults often feel real or perceived pressure from family and society to date and marry within their own race, ethnicity, and culture. The psychology department of Macquarie University conducted a study about social influences on intermarriage between different cultures and faiths, surveying fifty five students of varying ethnic backgrounds (Yahya et al. 762). The study notes the participants mostly thought of their parents and grandparents as “racist” (759). In addition to influence from within the family, the study notes that laws preventing intermarriage of different races, ethnicities, and religions have been prevalent in many places around the world (760).

Parents not approving of interracial romantic relationships damages relationships between parents and their adult children (Bell et al. 766).  In an article in the Journal of the Society for the Psychological Study of Social Issues, it is noted that the impact of disapproval of immediate family affects the interracial couple worse than the negative effects of society as a whole (767). While many parents would prefer that their children date and marry within their race or ethnicity, discouraging interracial unions is bad for families; it increases conflict between parents and their adult children. Parental approval and support for interracial relationships fosters open communication, a physical and mental “safe space” for adult children in their parents’ homes and a support system where adult children and their parents can show “care and concern” for each other (768). On the other hand, parental disapproval further separates and damages relationships between adult children and their parents, strains romantic relationships, fosters negative interactions between parents and their children and often instigates a dysfunctional power and control dynamic over the adult child that can have lasting negative impacts on both the parents as well as the adult children (768). Inflicting biases on one’s children can damage relationships as well as could have a negative impact on future relationships with children born of that union. Grandchildren that are born may not be able to develop strong bonds with the grandparents that disapproved of their parents’ interracial relationship due to the dysfunctional relationships that may not be healed.   

Weiss University Professor of Law & Sociology Dorothy E. Roberts tell us that anti-miscegenation laws in the United States were designed to protect the white “privileged” race “from contamination by inferior races” (Roberts 181).  On the opposite side of the spectrum, an article in the Journal of Social Issues notes that African Americans through the years, generally have seen interracial marriages positively as a path towards the “end of racism” (Afful et al. 668). Roberts notes that both the former NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) President Walter White as well as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. both opposed anti-miscegenation laws (Roberts 184-185).

Racism and fear of the races mixing has a deep rooted history going back to slavery, especially in Southern culture in the United States.  Roberts links the historic Brown vs. Board of Education decision that integrated schools directly to the fear of races becoming romantically involved with each other.  One Southerner interviewed in 1961 shared his opposition, “Kids don’t know any better. . . . they’ll be fooling around . . . intermarrying and . . . you’ll have amalgamation in the races.” (qtd. in Roberts 186). Mildred Loving, an African American woman and Richard Loving, a white man, married in 1958. The Lovings were arrested because interracial marriages were illegal in the state of Virginia. Roberts notes that in case Loving vs. Virginia, the U.S. Supreme Court saw that the anti-miscegenation laws of Virginia held no merit.  The Supreme Court stated that the Racial Integrity Act was a holdover from slavery, meant to keep blacks “in their place” and to “maintain White Supremacy” (qtd. in Roberts 191).

Many parents would prefer that their children date and marry within their own race out of wanting to make their life easier for their children. In an article titled “The Pros and Cons of Intermarriage,” Adam Cap talks of the racism experienced in the past by some parents that were in opposition of interracial marriages, notably minority parents who had experienced racism firsthand. The fear of racism being inflicted upon their child and grandchildren can be a cause of apprehension about interracial romantic relationships (Caps). What many parents may not realize is that their own bias can negatively affect their relationship with, as well as the well being of their children and grandchildren more that any act of racism from society. Cap sums up intermarriage well, “When two people fall in love, neither differences in race nor religion can keep them from tying the knot.” (Cap). When families can move past these issues, a stronger bond can be realized between the generations. The family can be seen as a place of support instead of one of many places that their love has to be defended. 

Society has come a long way since the days of slavery.  Unfortunately, deep biases still reside in the hearts of many. An article in the Journal of Social Sciences suggests that “. . . people need to become more accustomed to seeing interracial relationships as a part of the fabric of a diverse country” (Bell et al. 768). A different article in the Journal of Social Sciences notes that “. . . interracial marriage is changing the face of the United States as it destabilizes clearly demarcated racial and ethnic categorizations” (Afful et al. 662). More study needs to be done to deepen the understanding of the attitudes towards interracial relationships and racism within families in the United States.

Works Cited

Afful, Stephanie E., et al. "Beyond 'Difference': Examining the Process and Flexibility of Racial Identity in Interracial Marriages." Journal of Social Issues, vol. 71, no. 4, Dec. 2015, pp. 659-74. Academic Search Complete, doi:10.1111/josi.12142. Accessed 3 Feb. 2017.

Bell, Gina Castle, and Sally O. Hastings. "Exploring Parental Approval and Disapproval for Black and White Interracial Couples." Journal of Social Issues, vol. 71, no. 4, Dec. 2015, pp. 755-71. Academic Search Complete, doi:10.1111/josi.12147. Accessed 3 Feb. 2017.

Cap, Adam. "The Pros and Cons of Intermarriage." Adam Cap, 13 Feb. 2016, adamcap.com/schoolwork/the-pros-and-cons-of-intermarriage/. Accessed 27 Feb. 2017.

Lehmiller, Justin, et al. "Peer Influence and Attraction to Interracial Romantic Relationships." Social Sciences, vol. 3, no. 1, 2014, pp. 115-27. MDPI Open Access Journals, doi:10.3390/socsci3010115. Accessed 4 Feb. 2017.

Perry, Samuel L. "Hoping for a Godly (White) Family: How Desire for Religious Heritage Affects Whites' Attitudes Toward Interracial Marriage." Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, vol. 53, no. 1, Mar. 2014, pp. 202-18. Academic Search Complete, doi:10.1111/jssr.12079. Accessed 3 Feb. 2017.

Roberts, Dorothy E. "Loving v. Virginia as a Civil Rights Decision." New York Law School Law Review, vol. 59, no. 1, 2014/2015, pp. 175-209. Academic Search Complete, dcccd.idm.oclc.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com.dcccd.idm.oclc.org/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=109505043&site=ehost-live. Accessed 3 Feb. 2017.

Wu, Zheng, et al. "Group Differences in Intermarriage with Whites between Asians, Blacks, and Hispanics: The Effects of Assimilation and Structural Constraints." Journal of Social Issues, vol. 71, no. 4, Dec. 2015, pp. 733-54. Academic Search Complete, doi:10.1111/josi.12146. Accessed 3 Feb. 2017.

Yahya, Siham, and Simon Boag. "'My Family Would Crucify Me!': The Perceived Influence of Social Pressure on Cross-Cultural and Interfaith Dating and Marriage." Sexuality & Culture, vol. 18, no. 4, Dec. 2014, pp. 759-72. Academic Search Complete, doi:10.1007/s12119-013-9217-y. Accessed 5 Feb. 2017.